"We chose to do this in the only format you understand: a TV game show with women holding briefcases", Kenan Thompson, playing host Steve Harvey, said. "So we made a decision to do this in the only format you could understand: a TV game show with women holding briefcases".
In the end, Trump does strike a deal to end the government shutdown "and release the kids from cages".
Baldwin's Trump, playing for "Habitat for Hannity" (to help Fox News's Sean Hannity purchase "a second beach house"), hoped for the same deal the actual Trump proposed on Saturday: "deportation protections for some immigrants in exchange for $5.7 billion in border wall funding, a proposal immediately rejected by Democrats and derided by conservatives as amnesty", as The Washington Post reported.
"Then guess what. You're not flying to Afghanistan", Baldwin's Trump shot back.
Harvey encouraged Trump to pick another briefcase and "remember, every time you say no deal a half a million federal employees don't get paid".
"That path, as Trump explained it, includes "$800 million in urgent humanitarian assistance, $805 million for drug detection technology to help secure our ports of entry, an additional 2,750 border agents and law enforcement professionals, [and] 75 new immigration judge teams to reduce the backlog of - believe it or not - nearly 900,000 cases".
"Five", Trump said. Harvey asked, "You want briefcase No. 5?"
Trump later went to "older Jewish woman" Chuck Schumer, to Mitch McConnell hiding behind his briefcase, "very low IQ person" Maxine Waters, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Cory Booker, Steve King, Cardi B, and a Clemson football player.
McKinnon's Pelosi offered to end the shutdown if President Trump accepted $1 billion and said, "Nancy's my mommy". But Baldwin's Trump quickly corrects him, saying "No, I'm saying a lot of these women are fives". It's just too bad Trump's actual fast food feast didn't end the shutdown.
Spat Baldwin's Trump: "I can't do the State of the Union?"